I lost my virginity at 16. I didn't love him, and he didn't love me. There were no rose petals, and it wasn't prom night. I didn't even see fireworks. BUT I used a condom.
In Florida, they teach (and only teach) something called "Be the One." It's an abstinence only program taught to 10th graders, funded by the state, and is required to graduate (via a required health course). Here's the gist: everyday for a few weeks, speakers come in and lecture abstinence only education.
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No sex education.
NO one ever taught me how to use a condom.
I was told that sex lead to HIV- almost inevitably.
I was told having sex lead to warts, bumps, sickness and death- even with condamns (aka condems).
At 16, more than half the class had already had sex. I hadn't.
I even had one tell me that if I was having sex, I should stop, and become a "BORN AGAIN VIRGIN." A born again virgin?
--16 year old me asked her if she contracted HIV because no one ever showed her how to use a condom, and she didn't as most of us didn't listen to Be the One, would she be able to state that shes a "Born again HIV negative?" NO.
In these "Be the one" classes, I successfully refused to participate. I refused to sign the abstinence until marriage bond- whether I planned to keep it or not. I refused to allow them to tell me that sex was wrong, or dirty. I refused to allow them to talk about HIV positive people as if they were dirt.
In this protest I- a 4.0 student with hundreds of volunteer hours, editor of the year, class officer, key club member, nhs member- was threatened with referrals almost daily. Even in school suspension was threatened; I'd never even received a detention.
SEX regardless of my age is my business. I deserve every right to learn the right way to have it, if i so please. And more importantly, because I knew deep down inside that so many of my classmates were already engaging in- they deserved to understand the SAFE way, but were refused that right.
Conservative america says sex is sinning. They claim HPV preventatives are morally wrong. They believe their children deserve the cervical cancer if they chose to engage in sex. When did America turn her back on the rights, and fair educations of children?
The 10th graders will have sex; whether the parents like it or not. And thank s to be the one, they will have UNSAFE SEX. There was a state study done my senior year that claimed that since the start of Be the One not only did std rates in florida high schools get higher, but teenage pregnancy rose as well.
Congarts be the one. Job well done.
Wake up. Our children will suffer so long as this dangerous minority has power. If they want to stop HIV, and teenage pregnancy EMPOWER OUR CHILDREN. Give them strong morals, and values, not reasons to go against your word.
Abolish abstinence only sex education.
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Sex will always happen, and we should know how to do it properly to prevent disease. We were discussing our Staff Editorial and we all agreed sex ed is like the Mean Girls scence, "Sex gives you STDs and you die. Who wants a condom?" Nothing is gained from that discussion besides fear and ignorance. Completely agree with you;
A-WEEZY*-/_
Children, that is-someone not of the age of majority-do not have the constitutional rights guaranteed to those who have achieved 18 years. In fact, all your privileges are contingent on your parents' granting them and providing for them. You are under their care. In most states, sex is NOT your business, but that of the state, for the implicit reason that you, a minor, have, quite frankly, no clue as to what you are doing. Your judgement skewed, your hormones misaligned, technically, if a judge wanted to pry, he could sentance you to 14 months in prison for sex while still being a minor.
Here's something, related to HPV, that I think is important to point out...never in its history has a woman contacted it, having saved herself until marriage. Abstinance is truly the most safest of contraceptive methods.
Back to the issue of children fantasizing that they have certain unalienable rights, that's rediculous. You are required to have your parents authorization and notification for virtually anything you do. And for good reason: we as a country do not trust that a 16-year-old, no matter how mature you may consider yourself, have enough sense to vote, much less have sex and protect yourself.
So by saving herself until marriage a woman will miraculously not get HPV from her infected husband? Gold wedding bands release magical anti-bodies that destroy the virus? A woman with an HPV infected husband will still contract the virus.
I think you meant to say that no woman has contracted HPV when both partners have waited until marriage. Why that would need to be stated is pretty much beyond me though.
Nobody is arguing that abstinence isn't the best choice, but that doesn't mean children should be ignorant of other choices. Teens have had sex throughout history. You can't stop them, but you can make it safer.
As the adults responsible for them it is your responsibility to provide children with proper, truthful education and do your best to protect them even if they do make mistakes. Trying to scare them into not making a mistake that some of them are going to make no matter what just adds unecessary consequences and dangers.
Res ipsa loquitur.
memor mori, mahalo.
Gonzo, you took the words right out of my mouth. Thank you.
~C
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[i]Here's something, related to HPV, that I think is important to point out...never in its history has a woman contacted it, having saved herself until marriage. Abstinance is truly the most safest of contraceptive methods.[/i]
Sorry, but this isn't reality. I know someone who contracted HPV despite being a virgin on her wedding night.
And the in-use failure rate of abstinence is bad. Virginity pledgers have just as high a STD and unwanted pregnancy rate as those who don't take such a pledge. Note that these rates are approximately 10x the rates in the countries with good sex-ed.
you missed the point. Im not talking legalities. Im talking simple, and pure common sense. You want to stop the spread of hiv, hpv, teenage pregnancy, well youd better start by ACTUALLY teaching the students the real deal.
Wake up, and open your eyes...abstinence is safe yes, but unrealistic. This just isn't how it works.
Also, about the HPV comment..theres a vaccine available now...There is NO REASON to not give your child that vaccine...Shelter your little girls does no one any good. I can PROMISE if there was an HIV vaccine available, you wouldnt be saying "well my daughter wont be the one to do it." And if you are, good luck.
It's just irresponsible to think that intellectual mish mosh is worthy of anything in a world where 16 year olds are still having babies they cant afford.
OH also, in florida, adults too can be arrested for certain sex acts, fellatio being one of them. Being a minor or not has nothing to do with it.
Although I attend a High School in which they offer (or rather require) an "abstinence only" course, I still learned about the dangers of sex, and why you must be safe. I don't think it is really the school's responsibility to teach the children about whether or not to have sex, to teach safe sex, or even what sex is. It is more of a parental thing. I know that not every parent wants to endure that awkward conversation about sex, but they are responsible for most of their ethic and moral values, so why skip out when it comes to sex?
Teenagers/adolescents are going to learn about sex from one source or the other. I mean, just look at how many AIDS/HIV awareness commercials we see on television.
Just because a teenager's school didn't teach him/her about the safew way to have sex, doesn't mean that it was their fault that he/she contracted an STD.
exactly. But the problem lies in that there are still places that ONLY teach one or the other, as opposed to both, or none at all.
None at all I feel, however, not the way to go. many parts of africa being my main reason for feeling this way.
Personally, I want to save sex for marriage. Not because sex is sinning, because it's not. There's nothing wrong with sex at all, but it was made for marriage. AIDS, HIV, and other STD's wouldn't exist if sex had stayed in the confines of marriage and only marriage. The reason for abistence is to protect you from getting a disease that you'll have to live with for the rest of your life. "Safe sex" is not 100% safe. There is always that possibility that even if you're using a condom, you can still get preganant or and an STD. I personally don't want to risk that, but it's your choice. Your life. Do with it what you will, but you will have to live with any consequences that may occur.
AMen!
i don't believe abstinence only courses really help anything either. in this time, most teenagers will have sex and teaching abstinence only courses only really teach teenagers to be unprepared. and honestly, i know how i am, and if im told that i absolutely cannot do something, i want to rebel against that. abstinence only is a horrible, provincial idea
I Think it's BULL that schools are even teaching about something as personal as sex. Schools should STOP preaching about abstinence, it's not in their right, it is, however, "Human Nature". I am not saying I want my son or daughter to go out and have sex at the age of 16, (or even younger these days)but it is Human Nature, and I think it's the Parents obligatory duty to teach their kids about these issues. I don't think any amount of school teaching, or "preaching" about how good Abstinence is and how you should be a Virgin till you're 80 or married is going to solve anything. Sex IS going to happen, its, (sat it with me now) "Human Nature" Ok, now, I DO think that schools these days SHOULD be teaching about SAFE SEX. Teaching about safe sex is not the same as preaching about no sex. Like I said, sex is going to happen no matter what, so "safe sex" is the way to go. The major problem today are STD's. You can be a virgin till you're 30, have NO std's be perfectly clean, get married, and overnight... you've got aids.
SAFE SEX, starts with the parents, and should be backed up by the school system. Consenting adults practicing safe sex can enjoy a healthy, and natural lifestyle. Also, the "Having sex at 16 years old " issue, well, thats a whole different bucket of worms. In some cultures, this is acceptable, but here, in the United States, we regulate the age at which people can engage in consenting sex. Safe sex, and the reasons that it cannot be practiced until you're 18, which I assume is to be mature enough in the case of a pregnancy and raising a child, should be thought by the Parents first, with the school system backing it up.
I don't think that the schools can teach one and totally ignore the other. I mean, abstinence is the safest way to avoid STDs, and while perhaps the schools shouldn't preach it, it'd be wrong to completely ignore it. Plus, you know, there would be parents complaining that the schools were advocating sex.
~C
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