My family are very cultural people and what cultural people tend to do is stay in their own accustom little world and are afraid to step out of their little box. It's hard, to know that you can never change a person and their beliefs, especially if it's your own family. At my house back home, all we do is speak the our native language, eat our cultural food, respect our elders, and forced to do "woman-hating" chores (household chores ^-^) This recent senior year I had a very open mind and wanted to be the best I can be, I even cut my hair so boyish short so my parents could stop degrading on females, and let me just tell ya, they got mad~
After senior year I was suppose to be married to another person of my culture, but I cut my hair, which represented woman-hood in our culture. Hehehe this marraige was arranged since I was born. BUT arlene here thought, hmmm, i'm not going to follow my sister's foot-steps and i do wanna go to college to support MYSELF. And that's what I did last year (senior year).
I got kicked out of the house A LOT to the point where I had to come to school in sweats and same clothes everyday, and I had honor courses too! I was even disowned by my family for a while, and had no one. So I tried my hardest out there and my AVID teachers helped me through it all, and friends, and my recent boyfiend.
My boyfriend (who recently dumped me but are extremely close, and i still call him boyfriend) is white. Not the race my parents wanted me to date, well let me put it this way, especially not the race my parents wanted me to date. They have a reason though. My parents hate "white" people because America is mainly part of the reason why their country got into a civil war. They are the reason that made my parents life so traumatic. But I loved him, and that even infuriated them even more (including the fact I turned down the marraige).
It's hard to explain...wanting to love someone but can't...loving someone and having your family hate you...loving someone behind their backs....lying to them....lying to him....lettin him know that my family really doesn't hate him. it's hard. when we did go out, i always pretended to go to "the movies" but instead i went to hang out with him. he helped me through a lot though that my family couldn't understand. it's hard not being able to call him while here for college because i share a plan with my parents and OH do they know his phone number. It's hard to know that my parents didn't support me into going to college. But it's even harder when my parents disapprove of my boyfriend, who in reality, is the ONLY one who cand ever make me happy. having your parents disapprove of your happiness.
Him being "white" is not a curse in my eyes, it's a beauty...because of him, my family's going to see how much i love him, and, they're finally going to step outside of their little box. Just like I forced their beliefs on women and how we're not suppose to be in college...-break
what are stories of your interracial relationship? or what do you think about it?
when i think about it you should be proud of what you went through, you don't have the power to change them, iw ish you can and hope you can but i think it is impossible, but God bless you, or BUddha ro whatever you believe in, actually you just are blessed and I hope that you can make it through, find people who care for you and in return care for them, and things will get better, i can only pray and hope they do..
thanks for sharing
Above All - Do no harm
LOL i believe in both...but God mostly....
thank you for your kind words ^-^
~dreams are impossible if you do nothing about it~
I have been in a relationship that my mom was completely ok with, but my grandparents would have been outragged by because they are from a differant generation. I dated a black-girl for a while we met in our AVID class and we decided to start dating. Her parents didn't care that I'm white I didn't care that she was black. My mom just didn't want us to do anything we would regret later. Unfourchanatly we went to a school full of bigots, where everyone only dates there own race. We made enough people unsettled that we were taken into the principals office and ordered to break-up because we were a "distrubance". We said we did but we still saw each other plenty we loved each other in our own way. The school then just revoked her transfer and she was gone. I never got to say good-bye. I was furious no teacher wanted to be left alone with me and the principals avoided me for weeks, because they knew that they had taken my first love away and I felt like I had nothing to lose. It will get better if you make it better, find something that you like. Not your parents or even your BF, you something you can pour your heart into until you feel like you have no emotion left. It can help you release your emotions in a positive way. I can relate to the stress that your under.
You story inspired me in alot of ways...knowing that someone out there feel my pain, but your story is way sader than mine. THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THAT TO YOU GUYS! that's like a discrimanation! My parents haven't been there much for me but I do love them! UGH i'm still mad that they made your girlfriend transfer! that'll just piss me off! it'll piss me off because all my teachers would have known it was wrong and should have done something, and not being able to see the person who makes you happy would just ruin me...
grrrrrr
but thank you for your words of advice ^-^
i'm truly am sorry about your first love.
love always
arlene
~dreams are impossible if you do nothing about it~
Wow, this entire thing just bums me out. I've never dated someone of a different race, because there are very few non-whites at my school. I have, however, dated someone of a different religion, which is also uber hard! It wasn't like he was dead-set in his, or dead-set against mine; he just hadn't had a revelation or whatever. God hadn't touched him yet, or he hadn't seen it, or whatever. My parents, who are hardcore Christians like me, went nuts when they found out. They kept trying to get me to break up with him and try to convert him before we went back out. One problem: how likely is it for your ex to want to have long, in-depth discussions about the reason you broke up? Not likely. We did end up breaking up, but for a completely different reason. But the whole time we went out, he was always willing to talk to me about the whole religion thing. He was always really open-minded about it. I mean, we'd hold hands and have religious arguments all the time! I don't want to go back out with him or anything, but please pray that God changes his heart, if you are so inclined. I still love him dearly as a friend.
And I pray that God helps everyone who is hurting right now for love-related reasons. enter360, and tHe DrEaMeR, I'm praying that God puts someone in both of your paths that heals your hearts. Big hugs for you both! Keep your chins up!
~WriterNut~