As I've stated, I'm back in school now as a junior for the first time since
1997. It hasn't been easy, and I'm taking some big risks in the process, but I
have to hope the rewards will be worth it. Now, I could sit and whine about the
financial hardships, the intellectual hurdles of jump starting brain cells that
have sat dormant for 10 years, yadda yadda yadda...but the thing that struck me
today was the difficulties of being a SINGLE older guy returning to school
full-time.
I noticed in my English class today a lot of people checking out their
accounts on a site called facebook.com. Curious, I checked out the site tonight
and signed up. Apparently a good deal of the student population at my school is
on this, because the local network for my school numbers pretty high. Anyway,
as I was browsing the list of people with a graduation date same as mine, it
struck me as odd that, from my perspective, most of these people were...well, I
hate to use the term, but...kids. I don't really know what I was expecting. I'd
be lying to myself if I didn't say there's a part of me that wants to pick
right back up where I left off ten years ago. The age gap aside, there are
other things that keep me from doing that. I have a bit of social anxiety
disorder, for one. I gave up drinking years ago, which disqualifies a lot of collegiate get-togethers.
When I went to school back in '97, I was in a steady relationship, most of
my friends were still around, and I commuted to school, so the social life on
campus wasn't a concern to me now. Now it's 10 years later, I'm 10 years older,
I've made the jump and moved to the town my school is in...single, most of my
friends have moved away or have lives of their own now, making regular
get-togethers difficult at best. To be totally honest, the relationship aspect,
I'm not really pushing that one...I'm in no hurry, and the relationship is what
really soured things last time around. Still, every time I think of starting up
a conversation, or poking someone on facebook, the first thing that pops into
my head is the age gap. No one wants to be that "creepy older guy".
Now, I know I'm not alone or unique at the school. I know there's people my
age and older doing the same thing I'm doing. I know one or two from classes
I'm taking. But my 'friendship' with them ends when the class does. I can't
even remember their names sitting here right now (I'm horrible at remembering
names...luckily I keep mine written down somewhere). Most of them are already
married or from the area, it seems.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm far from lonely. I mean, I am alone, but I'm
used to that, and it doesn't bother me. It really seems to bother other people
that I'm ok with it more than it bothers me. But there's the part of me that
realizes that this is a prime time and opportunity to network, meet new people,
do the things that I won't have the time or inclination to do once I'm a
full-time member of the work force with other responsibilities. Carpe diem and
wotnot...I guess the best thing to do would be to just throw myself at it and
hope for the best.
There really should be support groups for the older people like myself on
campus 
Now there's a thought...
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