..Theres something i think much to many people are missing out on these days, and its dissapointing. As always there is a gigantic rush to the end of the school year, especially now with only 2 months. Teachers cramming in work, kids studying for tests.. You should see some of my class mates, half of us have senioritus (the condition of being a senior and only have 2 months left in school) and the other half are constantly cramming their faces in text books, trying to memorize the dates in which Chaucer wrote "The Canterbury Tales" - like i care about that. Its not going to help me anytime *ever* in the future, why do i need to know it?
It was about two weeks ago that i had an epiphany that really changed the direction of my life..i was sitting in class trying to listen to my teacher as she talked on and on about how brilliant Chaucer was, barely stopping for a breath. From what ive heard, shes a fascinating teacher, but i cant get past my ADD, and her mouse-like look to find this out for myself.
But you see with only two months left, teachers apparently need to cram a ton of work into a small amount time, leaving the question "why didn't we do all this work when we were saposed to" unanswerd.. and she was no exception. So as she was talking, naturally i was doodling on my note book. I had already gotten into college..a very expensive college thats going to put me in debt about $100,000...so why did i care about her class? But somthing on that day made me listen up for a split second, and i was..well, a bit pissed off at what i heard..it went somthing along the lines of "Now remember, out of all the 31 pilgrims, we've decided the most noble of them all was the knight, the least being the Friar. This is all going to be on the test next Monday so make sure you study, your lives depend on it!"..
At first i kind of shook off the comment.."our lives depend on it? psh"..but for some reason i started to give it more thought, and eventually when the bell rang i went down to the attendance office and checked myself out of school..i had to get to a place where i could think. Looking back on it now, i had some pretty out of whack ideas going through my mind. Is this where we as human beings have really gotten to? Do our lives now rely what little useless information we can cram into our heads at once? Is this what college is going to be like, just a 4 year cram fest of information that im really not going to use in my life? Needless to say i really freaked myself out. I mean, decideing to go to college was a no brainer - you go to college, you study for four years, you get out, and get a job to pay off the crippeing debt that put you there..end of story. But the idea that college was no more useful than my senior english class.....it just all shook me up really bad.
I didn't speak to anyone about this until last week for fear of people calling me insane, or getting mad at me for second guessing college. When i did finally talk about it, it was my mousy english teacher that listened at the end of class..
ME: err..Mrs. H, do you have a minute?
Mrs H: Sure, what do you need?
ME: We'll its about something you said a few days ago..its not really anything serious..
Mrs H: Oh did i say anything wrong?
ME: No its just..
Mrs. H: Oh what is it dear?
ME: .....what was your college experience like?
Mrs. H: Did i talk about this last week?
ME: No, but i would just like to know
Mrs. H: We'll.. it was tough, i studied a lot..my roomates weren't much help. In fact, one of them flunked out.
ME: So it was a lot of work?
Mrs. H: Well yeah..and we had to take some bad classes too.
ME: bad how?
Mrs. H: Well bad as in we didn't need them..i remember taking a Modern Russia and China class. Haah! what was i going to do with that? become an embasador? HAH!
ME: (feeling a little relieved) So even though you had to do a lot of useless work, being a teacher was worth it?
Mrs. H: Oh no, not at all.
ME (terrified again) really? then why do it?
Mrs H: Well in college..of course your going to have to do work..and obviously your going to need to do work that might not seem pertainent or at all useful. But you don't do it for the end result, you do it for the experience.
ME: Now by experience you mean
Mrs. H: By experience i mean the good times, the bad times, and the best times...the memory makers... Its what makes life worth living you know?. I'm not a teacher because i feel so strongly about everyone being educated. Your job is to get an education, im just a tool to deliever the knowledge. No, you see i do it for these moments right here. These "aha" moments that im seeing on your face right now.
I walked away from that room with a new way of thinking. Life isn't about getting to the end. Its not about growing up, getting old, having kids, getting older and dieing. It's about what you do with it. Its about doing the things that make YOU happy. And as selfish as that sounds, is there really anything better to do? If your not happy with your situation, then you change it correct? Then why live a life that doesn't make YOU happy? It makes no sense.
This week i dropped out of my $100k college, because debt doesn't make me happy. Instead, im going to a local community college for two years, and then transfering into a state college. Doing this saves me about $90k and has the same end result. I still get a Bachelors in science, i still get my internship at Mystic Aquairium, and im still going to be diving for the rest of my life. The only difference is i changed my situation to make me happy instead of going with the sterotype that i had to go to an expensive college to get a good education. Like life, education is what you make of it - its all about the experience.
I still don't pay attention to Mrs H in class even after that moment of bonding, but i think theres a mutual understanding between us.. I mean, after teaching me to live life for the experience and not the end result, i think she'll understand that im drawing bunnies on my notebook..not to get an A in her class, but because i want to have a less boring experience.
