Today, in Psychology, we talked about social situations. And how, when people are excluded in conversation, as well as invitation, they become silent, and remove themselves (not physically, but they might as well not be there.)
Many of my "friends" are extroverts. They don't understand that talking isn't as easy for me as it is for them. There was a sort of confrontation last year in which they said I didn't talk, and that was why they didn't talk to me in the mornings, or invite me when they go places. I thought "ok, maybe I am a little too quiet." So I tried to be more open to talking. And, I do believe that I have become quite a bit less introverted.
But they didn't change. They still don't talk to me about everyday things, and they always do stuff together without asking me if I want to come too. They devalue me as a person. And I'm so sick of it.
There are people who do talk to me, and invtite me places. Those are the people that I wish I'd met earlier. They appreciate me. I just wish I'd met them in time to build stronger relationships. (I'm leaving the area.)
And so, I ask you as readers, to think of people in your life that you may mistreat. Maybe you could invite them somewhere. Throw them a surprise party. Give them a present, on an ordinary day. Make them feel appreciated.
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Sounds like those people you first mentioned weren't really your friends. I'm glad you found people who appreciate you for who you really are!!!
I can definitely feel for what you're saying. I used to be a huge introvert myself. I don't consider myself an extrovert now, but I have come a loooong way from where I used to be. Some people may call me an extrovert, but that's just what they see. I still often feel like I want to just be quiet.
When I was in high school I wanted to challenge my introverted side and try to overcome some of it. I wasn't really happy with the way I was (perhaps I should have been), so I wanted to see if I could come out of my shell a little bit. I joined theatre. I fell in love with acting and I made a bunch of new (real) friends. I was challenged to speak up, but as someone other than myself on stage. This really helped me realize what I was really able to do, and that speaking up is ok. Of course, this isn't for everyone, but just thought I'd share my story.
I went from someone who couldn't even raise a hand in class, much less talk in class, to a vice president for two organizations in college, as well as the graduating class speaker. If you want to become less introverted, just give yourself small challenges every so often. If you can succeed in those challenges, give yourself bigger ones. It's a journey, but you can make it!
I want to be clear that I think being an introvert is every bit as great as being an extrovert. It all depends on who you are, and if you're ok being who you are. Love yourself for the way you are, and find others who love the way you are, too!
I am an introvert, and I'm awesome.
But I want to suggest that what you are describing as introversion might be better called "shy." A shy person tends to not speak up because they are timid or afraid of ridicule, whereas an introvert will not speak up because he or she is thinking about something else, knows the extroverts in the room will have that covered, or is still processing the information. Being in the limelight is not instinctive to an introvert, and it is exhausting, but I don't know if it is necessarily timidity that keeps us from speaking up.
Suggesting that an introvert needs to "come out of [his or her] shell" suggests that extroversion is the normative personality that we introverts should strive to achieve.
My thoughts on the matter can be found here:
http://www.progressiveu.org/130919-care-and-feeding-your-introvert
When I end up withdrawing from conversations or social situations, I feel as though I am being a snob, so I suspect it appears that way. However, my main problem is that I have two extremes: won't talk, and won't shut up. If I start talking, I might not stop even when others want to say something, so I am working on a medium.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/tricia0711