Someone told me that this blog does not connect or come together. So here is my attempt to clear any confusion because there must be some for me to get 2.5 votes...This is meant to be read in conjunction with my other blog on Pakistan-my biased perspective and if it is still confusing and boring, I apologize.
I am so ashamed today to be a part of or to be known as a Pakistani.
Just now, I have watched the news with my mom and dad since we get live news from dish network and the images I see, I don't wish I saw them or that I did not give a damn like most of my cousins and my own siblings.
I think you don't know how it is unless you go through a cultural displacement and are from a third wolrd country but i'll try to explain to you guys how I am feeling because....
I am speechless but I do feel and I can't stop this river of emotions.
I used to feel like I always wanted to be only a pakistani. Then I went through so much shit that I became someone who wanted to be known as an American from Pakistan. And now, what should I say, when all that I had hopes for from both of my countries have been...well what do I say?
Edited to Add that despite all that has got me so down and blue today, I am never ever going to doubt that the people (the good ones who care for the greater good of mankind) are always going to get my trust and my respect and they, you and yours are the ones that make me see the ray of sunshine in the sea of darkness.
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That is really a hard one... I think that you should keep in mind that YOU are YOU. You are not the people in Pakistan who are letting you down. You are not the people in America who are letting you down. You are you, if you do the best that you can do for yourself, no one can blame you for the things that are going on in Pakistan or the things that are going on in America. If people are stereotyping you for being Pakistani, then that is their problem, and they need to get over whatever issues they have. Don't blame yourself.
Blair-O
for your comment and you caring enough to comment
i am not blaming myself -----------------------------
i am actually' going through a denial and then aceepting that what i expected from people in btoh countries was too much, i expected too much from the governments and the public.
I expected that the people who were in power would never ever do things that they are doing today, just to remain in power. and that in essence is where my feelings are getting me so down and blue
and the fact that
that i can never know what is exactly going on in pakistan because if you read my previous blog, the governement has even banned news crews from doing their job
"Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right."
I agree with her. You are your own person with abilities, talant and feelings. No one should stereotype you, no matter what country you belong to.
that no one should, people do and even people on this site have had their prejudices against other groups or people not like them and why do we all have to assume and judge and be the ones guilty of these ugly crimes, i wish it was not so
and thanks for commenting, very mcuh appreciate it
"Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right."
I'm glad you're not blaming yourself... I know what you mean... I think as a little kid, we are raised to respect those in power because of what they do, so it is even harder when they let us down. Especially if it seems like the whole country is letting us down.
Blair-O
have some morals and values and hold some kind of rule of law as the one to follow but it seems it is lawlessness and money hungry greed that is rnning the country, the public is willing to die to get out of this cycle
"Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right."
I wish you would be a little more elaborate and creative in your blog. I couldn't truly understand what you were feeling because the original part left strings hanging and the edited part didn't seem to connect. If you want more readers, spend a little extra time on your blogs.
:)
read my previous blog about Pakistan to understand this one, should i have put that in my blog, i thought people would connect the two
but thanks for the advice, you are the first one to tell me to be more creative what exactly should i do to be creative when i am felling a little blue and low and going through an identity crisis?
"Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right."
Communicate those exact feelings by looking for the closest words that could describe it.Dedicate a few sentences to those feelings. Then, use metaphors, examples, etc. :) Hope that helps. What I like to do is to start a good hook, that gets me more creative. Thats just my way, though.
and you sound exactly like my english teahers who i have always detested, the only thing that i thank them for is pointing me in the direction of great authors besides that, everything that my writing is, it's an evolving process and i am hopefully going to get better at it everyday
PS> i was asked and more like forced to take English AP in 11th and 12th grade and i got 4 on my AP tests btoh year but i never really wanted to take the english ap coursses, i just had to, i much rather would have taken regular or honors and my english teacher's throughtout my education have only ever guided me and have only had trouble with my grammar and confusion and i never thought i was a creative writer, i am a prose person
as you might have concluded, I am not a native englsih speaker, I learned this language in school and now, no one even thinks i came from Pakistan, I have no accent and my english writing usually gets my message across
"Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right."
O.K. Sorry for sounding like your teachers.
they made me mad,---they were always teaching us like dictators, haha,
i only remember loving my 9th-10th grade english teacher
and people who are a harsh judge of my writing sort of upset me because they don't know the fact that i had to learn this language and work really hard to get at the point where i am now in my writing style so yeah, i wasn't hating on you, you only reminded me of them when you tried to dissect and analyze my writing
"Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right."
Yeah, I understand now. I didn't know that you were of a different nationality. Actually, for an immigrant you are doing a good job. Keep up the good work. I know some immigrants who have lived here for 13 years and STILL haven't bothered to learn the English language. I am glad you are putting an effort to it as well. I am immigrant too. I was born in Ukraine so I had to learn the language all by myself. I don't remember this, but my teachers and parents said that when I was in the 1st grade in America, I didn't have a clue what they were saying and I cried about it. Funny, I don't ever remember that.
i came here when i was in the fifth grade and though i knew a bit of english, i was laughed at the first time i read out loud in class because i did have an accent
and it's funny that people can't tell that i am actually an immigrant,
"Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right."
That is so sad! Kids can be cruel. I LOVE it when people have accents. my mom has an accent but I don't. She is trying to get rid of it, but I tell her to keep because that is what makes her so cute. It must be tough when you are laughed at in a new country and you are trying to learn the language.