So, I may as well make it known right now that our debate team is dysfunctional. We are one big, dysfunctional debate family. In fact, sophomore year we all called the class Drama 101 because all we did was talk about each other and stab each other in the back. But things changed, or so we thought. I guess I didn't realize it, but things never changed did they?
I heard lots of talk that our coach was picking favorites and really only helping them. That wasn't true, I mean she was helping me, and Hannah. Little did I know I was already in that little circle. I never saw the favoritism because I was a part of it. I was in the spot light. I got the help I needed when I needed it. If I wanted a new partner, the coach would shift people around to make things work. We all hung out outside of school, we even did the seniors' scrapbooks together. We would go out to eat, or to someone's house for dinner. I even knew the coaches mom and brother we were all so close.
Now, things are different. As the Taylor Swift song says, "I've been a lot of lonely places, but I've never been on the outside." Well, now I am on the outside and it hurts. I've been feeling a little pushed out lately by another debater, like he's taken my spot as one of the favorites. I hear the three of them talking about when they went here or the other day when they were doing that. They have all these inside jokes and when I'm with them I feel so out of place.
Tonight at dinner reaffirmed it all. First, they didn't even talk to me or the others there, just sat and talked amongst themselves. They made plans for later and excluded us loudly enough that someone at the dinner heard it. We all know they had plans after dinner.
Well I'm done! I have nationals and that's it, I don't have to deal with this. Yes, it may seem selfish to want to be back in the loop, but that's what I want. I don't want to feel ignored and left out every time we are together, it's not fair. I was there for so long. I just want to be heard when I speak, not feel like I'm talking to the wall although I probably am. I wan the team back to the way it was. I don't like being on the outside, it's uncomfortable and I don't like it one bit!
On the Outside Looking In
By vern - Posted on June 6th, 2008
Life's tough, get a helmet.
it's a little deeper than that when you're talking about the people that have been your second family for the last three years and the only thing that has made you feel like you belong.
Sorry, I didnt realize that you were all so close. You should have nothing to worry about then, from this new person. Becuase even though he/she is kinda taking the "favorites" spot from you, you stuck with the debate team. And your teammates will realize that and you guys can be one big happy family. Minus the drama. I hope that helped.
It's okay, we are by far the closest team I've ever seen. If you didn't notice by the mention of dinner, we do a lot together. It's just hard now that we are graduated because we aren't technically on the team but we are still gearing up for nationals so we are very reliant on our coach ( the three of us in the "spots" are also the ones going to nationals)
So even though you graduated youre still able to be on the debate team and compete?
Yes, see the qualifying tournaments for nationals are held during the school year but nationals are in the summer. Because of this students are eligible for six months after graduation.
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Do you find it odd that you are not as strong as you once thought?
Thats good. That way you don't have to leave your team hanging when they go to nationals and you graduate. That woudl suck. But good luck at nationals!
Maybe I should have explained a little better. See, when we have qualifications only the top 2 in each event in the district go to nationals, so individuals qualify, not the whole team. This year our school qualified 4 and we all just graduated. In fact, there's only one person from the whole district going that's still in school. (Only 2 schools qualified kids this year...we're just that good)
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Do you find it odd that you are not as strong as you once thought?
I understnad now, thats sweet. Thats how it was for my forensics team too. Good news is you guys have a good chance of winning if half the people in part of the debate are from your school.
Not at Nationals, we don't run with the big dogs too often. Our state always has kids in finals of things, but I don't think we've ever won anything. But it's the hope that I can make it to finals this year, I actually have a chance to. Do you do forensics?
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Do you find it odd that you are not as strong as you once thought?
i used to, but then i didnt like my coach, so i quit. i wasn't good at it at all either so it was probably for the good.
what event did you do? I've always loved my coaches so I don't really know how that one is.
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Do you find it odd that you are not as strong as you once thought?
i don't remember since it was a while ago, but what kinds of events are there? i think i did multiples (with 3 people) and ther was something else to it.
I've never heard of that...we have in debate: Lincoln Douglas, Public Forum, Policy (or Cross x) and Congress
and for speech: Duo, Drama, Humor, Original Oratory, Expository, Impromptu, Extemp, Prose, Poetry, Original Interpretation, Original Performance, Discussion, and sometimes Storytelling
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Do you find it odd that you are not as strong as you once thought?
This has happened to me quite a bit and it sucks. I am sorry this happened but at least you know how the other "outsiders" felt when you were favored. Try to stay strong. Focus on your debate and try not to worry about them. Act like it is ok then they will think you aren't bothered by it. Focus on what is important for now then go from their. Things change as you get older and you are starting to get a small taste of it. Try to stay positive ok. If you need to talk feel free. :)
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what
Love comments? I do too!
Yeah I do know how they felt now, which is why I said I was selfish, because I liked where I was, I was comfortable.
But you know the updated version, it's just upsetting.
And yeah I know you're there.
Playing favorites is dirty, no one should be favored over another. It's rude and above all, it destroys confidence. I can understand your wanting to get back in the circle, but what should really happen is stopping the coaches from choosing favorites. Sure one person may have more skill then another, but it doesn't make it right for them to say, ok, I will help you since you are the best. The team will suffer as a whole if only one or two are really strong. A coach should strive to bring every team member to the same level, or pretty close to it.
I am who I am and who I am is someone unique.