Is it ever okay to lie? If so when?
One lie just leads to another, which gets you deeper in than you may think.
A white lie is defined as something insignificant that you lie about.. for example : Oh, I was in the restroom, but in all truthfulness, I was in the kitchen...
So, when does lying about little things progress into being a pathological liar?
When trying to be honest, first start with yourself.Don't promise more than you can handle to someone, it only makes the situation worse.Face reality, if you tell someone you will give them $200 for their birthday, but you only have $10 and lost your job, tell them something realistic, like, I don't have the funds right now, but I promise I'll treat you at another time. Little white lies build up, and then people think you're just a big liar. You have to consider the consequences of lying, if I lie in order to miss school, I will also be missing out on receiving important information. If I lie and tell someone I can't go to the mall because I made previous plans, but instead I'm sitting at home, what happens if they drive by house and see my car..they'll know I lied. No one is perfect, so lying is acceptable under some circumstances. Just remember, one thing leads to another, and sooner or later, you'll be in way deeper than imagined.
"Lying is done with words and also with silence."
- Adrienne Rich
This was a discussion question that came up recently in one of my classes. My students agreed that there are some occasions where it's okay to lie. The example they came up with is if your dinner host produced something rather tasteless... the polite thing to do is pretend to like it.
I teach in Japan, and politeness is hugely important. Therefore, in cases like the example above, it's common, and somewhat expected, to tell a little lie.
Whether that's right or not, I don't know. I do agree with you, though, that "little white lies" can build up until someone gets themselves in trouble.
White lies are okay...on occassion. If a robber comes into your house and you point a gun at him and say "I know how to use this thing!" and you don't, I'd say that's a good white lie because it could save your skin. However, when dealing with people's feelings, it's hard to tell whether the lie or the truth will make more trouble. I try to stick with the truth in those situations, and if the person I'm talking to doesn't like the answer I say "Hey, it's the truth! You wouldn't want me to lie to you, would you?"
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Mind Control is Easier Than You Think
Lying is not acceptable because like you said it just causes bigger problems. You money example is not so much a lie. Saying you do not have the funds is truthful. Just because you once told them you would give them $200 for their birthday doesn't nessacarily mean you can. Just like you said you can still treat them another way. Fate can turn truth into lies anyday so be careful of things you say.