In person In person In person.
I had a friend recently lose a lot of weight. A lot. She says people see what they like in you. They'll see themselves, etc etc. Sunset. She says they won't see you, in other words.
Did she become so callous to her own feelings and what it's like to be her that she causes herself to vomit when she's alone?
What about what it's like to be her? What about the quality of her life, and not just how she will look like?
I'm so sick of bulimia and eating disorders in our society. This includes compulsive overeating and anorexia and C.A.S. But bulimia..what a pleasure it must be for her to be in solitude. It must be fucking fear wrecked and desperate. Her fear invalidates who she is and what she feels and thinks, her sense of humor. Because it doesn't matter? Because no one really sees? But what if only she sees...thats still her to be satisfied.
..
Pudgy young blonds with lobotomy eyes
Keep their fingers down their throat to attract all the guys
Who will drug them at bars and take them home to his friends
She'll wake up the next day and she'll do it again
Vomit yourself into the social shining spotlight
Pudgy young blonds with lobotomy eyes
Get fat shoved in their chests and sucked out of their thighs
And your new broken nose will look so good when it mends
Worship MTV, watch and worship the trends
Queen of the congregation at a wax museum
Sit and rest at the feet of your airbrushed deity
Follow
Obey
Fall into the crowds
Falling faster
Blind
You're blind
Roll your eyes
Follow and just pretend
Your life is a shallow fleeting trend
Your life is so shallow
-ZAO
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Wow...the poem at the end is amazing.
I really like it and it's so disturbingly true.
Sometimes I want an eating disorder, because what your friend says is partially true- people see themselves in you. But I don't think people see the parts they like about themselves, I think they see the things they hate. When someone reminds you of something you don't like about yourself, you distance yourself from them. You don't want to see your disgraceful characteristics and you don't want others to see those characteristics by comparing you to someone who has them. But it's all the more evident physically. You can't hide it when you're overweight and this directly affects how you interact with society. Luckily, I'm smart enough to see the dangers of eating disorders and despite that overwhelming, society induced desire to be thin, I would never resort to puking after every meal. It's not worth it. I hope your friend gets help.
I loved the poem at the end as well.