Greetings, one and all! See now, my gentle readers, that bisexuality is not a crime, nor is it merely a preference, it's the best idea ever! I realize that not everyone literally is bisexual at this very moment, but damnit, they ought to be. It worked for the romans, it can work for us! And so goes the topic of today's nugget of wisdom: Everyone needs a to be a little bi. It would make our lives much easier by greatly simplifying many political and social issues such as gay marriage, general homosexuality, and others, while simultaneously improving morale overall.
Finding someone that you can tolerate amongst a single gender can be an exhausting and aggravating experience, but when one incorporates both genders, one is given many, many more options for sex, and countless potential relationships. By eliminating this social taboo, we diffuse a great deal of tension betwixt the sexes, so that, for example, a woman might finally grasp the frustration of trying to maintain a relationship with a woman; or alternatively, men would gain a better understanding of what it's like to be ignored by your man every damned time a football game is on. The breadth of understanding is limitless, and I believe that all relationships could benefit from a heightened level of experience. Of course, Gay Marriage would cease to be an issue, and homosexuals would simply be considered bisexuals who tend to favor their own gender in lieu of both.
Besides, american society has more in common with Rome than we like to admit anyway in terms of slavery (illegal immigrants), corruption (pick a republican scandal, any scandal), a lust to be an empire (Iraq war anyone?), and above all, a savage delight in self-indulgence (Thanksgiving, conservatives, Anything on Fox). Any major sports league has more in common with the gladiatorial matches than they would like to admit, football in particular; and movies such as Saw, Slither, or any of the other gore-fests that have been produced in the last decade attest to the universal love of horrific violence.
Anyhoo, if we all became Bisexuals, there would be plenty more sexing, and sex always increases morale!
Well, that's enough for me.
-His Royal Dude-ness
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