I was about 8 years old when my mom told me that she had originally wanted to have me aborted. She knew flat out that I could have started to hate her. How dare she want to kill me, her child! The thing which would become me was growing inside of her. How dare she!
Although it still pops into my head from time to time, I don’t hold it against her. To be quite honest with you, I think my mother was brave for telling me that. I’m glad she did, and I’m glad that she raised me in an environment where she could tell me that without me having a tantrum, or being shocked. I’d rather that my mother was honest about that from the beginning, making sure that I knew that I was wanted, no matter how long after she found out. I’d prefer that she told me, “Yeah, I wanted you out, but I didn’t” while we were both calm, rather than randomly screaming it at me while tensions were high.
I know some people who absolutely abhor abortion. They see it as the worst thing any person could do, and that someone who has an abortion should be shot, and the doctors who perform it should have their intestines slowly ripped out. I get along with these people quite well (then again, I’m their friend who is going to burn in hell for many, many different reasons. They’ve given up on the conversions now), and, aside from the usual friendly debate, don’t bring up these topics. We understand that our opinions differ. I can see from their point of view – “life” starts at conception, babies are sacred, and their god doesn’t want them to remove an unwanted fetus from their body – and they, from mine – “life” starts at live birth, babies are parasites, and I don’t believe in a god, thank you very much. They make excellent points to support their decision, and I make points to support mine.
Ultimately, though, we all understand that it’s our body. What we choose to have or not have in it is something no one else can choose for us. What they consider a miracle, I consider a burden – necessary to ensure the survival of the species, but a burden nonetheless. If I get pregnant, they won’t convince me to try to keep the child, and if one of them gets pregnant, I won’t convince her to get an abortion, or he to tell his girlfriend to do it. It’s none of my business what they do with themselves, just as it’s none of theirs what I do.
As I heard so many times in my childhood Catechism class: “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
(Yes, I am Athiest. No, I didn’t just contradict myself. I was baptized Catholic, and attended Catechism.)
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I absolutely think it's best for parents to raise their children in honesty and openness. I know so many kids who aren't really sure if they were planned or not. Not that it's always important, but I think it's nice to have that sort of dialogue between a parent and kid.
"life” starts at live birth, babies are parasites, and I don’t believe in a god, thank you very much. "
I love you for this.
I agree that your Mom's move was rather brave because it's a topic that some parents might keep to themselves.
I agree with you on abortion; not crazy about them, but believe they're a choice people have.
Now, I have a funny anecdote about your "someone who has an abortion should be shot, and the doctors who perform it should have their intestines slowly ripped out." There happens to be this cult film company called Troma in which its creator Lloyd Kaufman is incredibly conservative and yet he makes independent silly gore (it doesn't look that real, more for the laughs of "oh my gosh they just did that") films. In his movie "The Toxic Avenger pt. 4" they go to an abortion clinic... a doctor sits on some clip thing... and basically has his intestines come out. Imagine that... or view it, I guess.
Elliott
www.youtube.com/MechanisticMoth
www.myspace.com/PseudoPsychicAccumulation
i agree with the fact that people should choose wheter or not they should have an abortion, i know a person who had one. its hard to live with the guilt and you feel empty and sick for a long while. she got really depressed.
i disagree with your statement on life, "life” starts at live birth, babies are parasites, and I don’t believe in a god, thank you very much. "
how can this be true. you just wrote a blog on stupidity. your stupid because your trying to convince yourself that life starts at birth, how can something thats growing and moving not be considered alive. it does start at conception because thats when the process of growth aka life starts
life-the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.
The oceans and rivers grow and move, and yet the majority of people do not consider any of them alive. We consider them teeming with life.
It's alright, I understand your ignorance when it comes to my views.
Sorry, but WTF? Your mom told you she wanted to have you aborted? When you were EIGHT?
Why did she EVER need to tell you something like that? Why is that information something you needed to know - especially when you were just a child! Why the hell did she tell you that?
Personally, I think it was a smart thing for her - it was at the end of a positive day, I wasn't mad at her, nor she at me. I already knew my mother was a "teen mother", and I knew that there were some who did not want me born. To me, making that revelation was the same as telling me that we were going out to eat. It was noted, but highly unremarkable (I mean, sure, later on I was like, "Did my mom seriously tell me that?", but at the time, I was just another topic of conversation).
The interesting thing is, she has never told me that she regrets having me. She's never told me that she wishes she'd gone through with the surgery. It's better for her to have just flat out told me and sort of desensitized me to it, rather than yelling it at me when she was extremely agitated towards me.
"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." is what Jesus said when an adulteress was brought before him and the Pharisees asked what to do. And they left her. As for abortion, my mom was pregnant with my sister and when you see the ultrasounds and feel it move its suddenly not a "Parasite" but a human. You can have whatever argument against abortion but they are alive and human within a week or 2. In a human form with a brain and heart. And if you've seen Juno "It has fingernails" Best part of the movie.
PS - My mom didn't want to abort me but every doctor told her that she should.
The situation in the bible doesn't matter as much as the statement, according to every Christian friend of mine (oh, the arguments ended with that one).
And, like I said/implied, there are different views on abortion - one person's fetus is, to another, a parasite. It all depends on the situation.
(I dunno, I think the best part of that movie was probably when she still gave the baby to Jennifer Gardner's character. It was obvious that it was wanted so much.)
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http://progressiveu.org/003411-i-would-rather-have-been-told-8-18
(Latest blog. )
I think you AND your mom were both pretty brave. She for telling you, and you for accepting it. I'm kind of inbetween on the pro-life issue, but I definitely know where your coming from from the context of your blog. Great insight and good backup, A+ for you! :D