Why is it that, in today’s society, parents think that disciplining a child is wrong? I really do not understand how taking away time outs, spanking or yelling is helping children learn right vs. wrong. I am in no way supporting abuse – I am in support of appropriate punishment for children who blatantly break rules.
When I was little I got an occasional spanking or I got yelled at, but I always deserved it. I would beat up my younger sisters, throw food in my mom’s face, curse out loud & all kinds of other negative actions. As I got older, my parents did away with spanking & started taking away certain privileges, etc. Am I emotionally damaged because I was punished for my actions? No. If anything, punishment made me a better child – I stopped acting out & learned how to act decently.
Parents need to understand that they are harming their child more by not punishing them. These children do not have to take any responsibility for their actions & do not adequately learn how to respect anyone. A 5 year old child should not be allowed to spit in a waiter’s face because the waiter brought them Coke instead of Dr. Pepper. Letting a child “understand what they’ve done & punish themselves on their own terms” is bull. If my parents never set any rules or never punished me, I would be an out of control mess.
There are many articles which say that spanking a child or yelling at a child is ineffective so I have to wonder how these parents are doing the spanking/yelling. [1] If there are children out there who do listen to their parents then congratulations, but I hardly ever see that. In my experience as a child, as a babysitter & as an older sibling I have noticed that children do not generally listen to everything their parents tell them ... go figure. Punishment reinforces rules - this is why laws are imposed.
I understand that punishment is a parent’s choice … and I will be a parent who punishes their child. I am sick & tired of children throwing stuff at me at the grocery store, listening to spoiled children scream at their parents & hearing parents blame their childs issues on TV or other children. Take the responsibility to teach your child respect, responsibility & how to act like a decent human being, which may include punishment. Please, the people that actually have to be around your child beg you.
[1] http://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20070110/parents-flunking-discipline
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Also, I think that parents should do something about not letting their baby crying and screaming in a store because I don't like it when babies scream and cry in a store because it gets on my nerves, quickly.
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It's a little difficult to stop a baby from crying and screaming. Older children are much easier. And if you think it's annoying... imagine how the parents feel. You can move away from the crying and screaming baby... they can't.
~C
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Actually, there is a difference between a baby who has to cry for survival [food, changing, etc.] and a child who starts crying because they can't get twelve candy bars. Discipline should only be imposed when necessary. A baby who cannot survive on their own needs to be able to cry ...
I agree. I have 2 kids. Any mother will know what the different cries are for. My kids know that if they throw a fit in a store because they were told no, then we are going to the bathroom and not to go potty. Parents just do not care anymore. That is why we have kids who shoot kids. Kids need to have their butts spanked. But do it the right way. do not be mad at your kids, cuz then you will hit them too hard. never never never hit them in the face and use something hard to hit their butts. and never bare butts. My son does not get spanked anymore he is 11 so i take things away from him like his ps2 or things like that. ok i went kinda off track i really like your blog.
Agreed!!!!
[as I've said a billion times on this site] I used to work at Famous Footwear. We did not allow those wheely tennis shoes in the store-- they were a liability, they scuffed up the floors, and kids constantly knocked stuff down with them.
So one day, one of the other employees saw a little girl (probably about 8) skating around the store with her heely's. She went up to her and, as kind as ever, asked the little girl, "Don't skate in the store, sweetie. We don't want you to get hurt." The little girl looked wide-eyed at my friend and ran away to find her mom.
A few minutes later, my co-worker and I were working together on a project at the front counter. The little girl, being dragged by her mother, came to the front counter and looked at my friend and said, very angrily, "Are you the one who told my daughter she couldn't skate in here?" The woman was so pissed off that someone actually told her child "no."
I don't understand how anyone can think it's right to raise your child to believe that can do whatever the hell they want.
After the daughter walked away to do something, I looked at the mom and I told her "if you don't want anyone else to tell her no, maybe you should." She did a little disgusted look, went back to pick out her shoes (because yeah, that's making a statement), and returned and asked for the manager. "That would be me. Can I help you?" It was awesome. Then she paid for her shoes and left.
Stupid parents.
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this is war. every line is about who i don't wanna write about anymore. [Brand New]
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HEY, next time that happens, here's what you should do:
They ask for the manager, right?
Okay, go into the back room, and then come back out and say, "Hi, is there a problem?"
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"Your comment doesn't make sense. Whats this about Paris hilton? What are you talking about? You don't make sense." - alenka
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LOL!!!!! That is so great! I can't believe I never thought of that!
Sometimes I miss working there... where I work now, all the students love me. At Famous Footwear, the customers hated me. And yet, I was always right. And they never got their way. Ha. It was a great place to feel empowered. :)
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this is war. every line is about who i don't wanna write about anymore. [Brand New]
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Ha, I love those moments! I also like Scyze's idea ... that would be amazing.
A friend of mine would carry around her "Manager" name tag in her pocket so that if anyone demanded to see the manager, she'd just whip it out & slap it on her chest. I'm not sure what was funnier - seeing her bust out her tag or the adult's expression when she did it.
I use to think the same thing about parents with out of control kids and still do sometimes, but I now have a 5 year old with Autism and I look at kids very differently now. Yes, there are many kids out there that need some sound discipline, but if you don't know the situation, then you could be experiencing an Autism or ADD moment. Don't bash on parents who have kids that miss-behave if you don't know the full extent of the situation. At least don’t bash on them so that they can see or hear you.
I do expect the parents to do as I do and remove their kids from restaurants and whatnot when their kids do act up regardless if it's an Autism moment or not. We must realize that for the most part, all parents want their children to be perfect, but disabilities can screw that perfect little world up for them (us) real quick. We hardly ever go out to eat with our son and he is very high functioning (which means that he acts much better than most kids with Autism). We only go to certain restaurants that are already loud or kid friendly.
I just wanted to post to raise awareness that not all “brats” out there are being brats because they’re not getting the appropriate discipline at home. Many parents feel that they can’t “spank” their kids, especially when they have something like Autism. It would sometimes be like spanking a dog 5 hours after the incident. Some kids with Autism just wouldn’t understand what that spanking was for even right after the incident. I’m blessed that our son is high functioning and that we can discipline, but not all parents have that luxury.
One out of every one hundred and fifty kids are diagnosed with Autism.
I hope that the next time you see something like this that you will think about a few of the things that I mentioned above and maybe not think badly about every family you see with a “bad behaving child”.
Tabias-
You are completely right in your perspective - I did not take something like Autism into consideration. I understand that it is a hard & completely different situation for a family like yours when it comes to experiences.
A little girl I babysitt is autistic who does have her moments but I never thought of her as a "bratty" child. I actually see her more-so as angelic with everything that she is going through. Of course, I still think there are some children out there who need to realize the world doesn't revolve around them.
Now don't get me wrong...I believe that there are plenty of kids out there that just need some good ole fashion discipline and usually you can tell, but not always.
Tabias-
I completely agree!
While children with disabilities can certainly be an exception to the rules, there are still a lot of disabled kids that abuse the treatment that generally comes with the disabilities. I think parents also need to learn that even if their child has a disability, to not just let them get away with everything (like you mentioned, you leave when your child acts up in a public place).
Now, this generally applies more so to physical disabilities than mental ones, but it can apply to the mental ones depending on the disability. My brother in law is mentally handicapped, and although he's 18, he has the mindset of about a 12 year old. He gets treated as someone who's a little younger than him, but he still has things like chores and I think my in-laws were talking about him getting a job somewhere at one point in time.
The key with disabled children, I think, is to not let the disability run everyone's lives. Learn what the child's limits and capabilities are and tailor discipline techniques to them, but don't let them run around like hooligans just because they have ADD or are moderately Autistic and are capable of knowing and acting better.
-- quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
You know a democratic senator in my state wanted to ban spanking she said "Assemblywoman Sally Lieber, D-Mountain View, said such a law is needed because spanking victimizes helpless children and breeds violence in society." The truth is not-spanking breeds the violence.
-"I am not where i ought to be, i am not where i want to be, but i am thankful that i am not where i used to be".
groups in CA try (and I think some cities succeeded, but don't quote me on that) to ban spanking of children, calling it child abuse.
in MA, however, there's a new bill to ban spanking, even from within your own home. Children could call in and report their parents as having spanked them and the cops show up.
Kind of reminds me of the Hitler Youth or the book 1984. "Spy on your parents' kids, and tell us what they do wrong."
Really not good.
Kids do not understand the repercussions of crying "Child abuse" as "crying wolf." To a child, spanking as a form of punishment and reform is "abuse", but to many it's an excellent way to discipline and in my opinion it works. Not because it's painful, but because it's embarrassing! After my parents did that once or twice, boy did I learn my lesson, and I never did those things again.
you can do anything about.
It used to be that parents simply expected, as a matter of fact, that kids respect adults. Now, with a hysteria that began in the 60's, parents started telling their kids it's perfectly okay to be disrespectful to adults. As we continued to the 21st century, it's now acceptable for children to call adults by their first names, refuse to be corrected by adults if the child thinks he is right, and generally be rude and disrespectful (which adults these days call precocious and assertive). Spanking is not going to solve this societal shift. Parents want their children to act this way.
I disagree that spanking is abuse. But the rest of it, I agree with and I think it's disgusting.
I am grateful and lucky to have had parents who respected me as much as I respect them, enough to have not desired me as a "friend" as rather as a child.
of the shift.
I think respect should only be expected one way. Children must always respect their parents and other adults. As long as you're parents are normal and well-adjusted, children are always supposed to defer to the wisdom and life experience of their parents. This "you respect me or I won't respect you" attitude of today's teenagers galls me. It's certainly not the way I was raised.
I'd prefer a mix of Asian and Western parenting. You allow your child some space for creativity and growth, but you demand respect. Whether or not a child gets respect really depends on if the child does anything that deserves respect.
I believe that by disciplining your children, and teaching them to respect others, you are respecting them. I was raised essentially the same way you were, and absolutely agree with you in your distaste for the attitude of today's teenagers. I see it in my fourteen year old brother and I want to scream.
Btw, I'm not a teenager, I am 22. I've been supporting myself financially, and completely self-sufficient, for more than four years. That makes me an adult.
I don't know why, but every time you mention your age I do the "WHA?!" double take. For some reason, I have it in my head that you're 17 and no amount of shaking will dislodge it.
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"In the Land of Memory, the time is always Now.
In the Kingdom of Ago, the clocks tick... but their hands never move.
There is an Unfound Door
(O Lost)
and memory is the key which opens it." -King
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You must be crazy.
I am so old inside... I might as well be 50.
I've come to the conclusion that crazy is the only thing to be. Everyone is unique, but no one wants to admit to a little insanity. It gives life a nice little flavor.
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"In the Land of Memory, the time is always Now.
In the Kingdom of Ago, the clocks tick... but their hands never move.
There is an Unfound Door
(O Lost)
and memory is the key which opens it." -King
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It SO does. I live in a little(mainly liberal) town and everyone is a little crazy. I'm sitting at mcdonalds and elvis walks in. Now this may be an everyday occurance in some larger towns, but considering that the only form of night life in our town are bars older than any of their patrons, it like marde gras. We have a folk festival and thats when the real crazy starts coming out in people. It just comforting to know that if you need a little psycotic moment there will probably be three or four other people doing what ever you do right along with you just to get a taste of your side of crazy.
I think you might have to be a little crazy just to understand that chunk of words.
And just how, o wise one, do you enforce that idea that a 3 year old needs to have proper respect for a parent?
What do you do, o wise one, when that three year old screams "NO!" when you take away something in a store, then starting to scream and yell and throw a temper tantrum?
Do you sit them down and have a philosophical conversation about the role of the child and parent, citing examples as to what positive behavior would be and how a person should, of their own super-ego inspired volition, try to live up to that role?
Or do you give them a swat on the butt, then sternly say "You do NOT act like that!"
spanking works with the young specifically because they do not have the mental development to seperate 'can' from 'should'. That is the essence of morality and proper social behavior.... and they can't do it yet.
That social shift that started in the 60's, with the hippie generation... odd, isn't it, that they are on the left side of the political spectrum? It is in the liberal cities and states in which there is a move to ban spanking by government mandate?
I don't find it odd. I find it predictable.
when they were younger, and some I babysit today. All of them respond to being put in the corner. And I leave them there until they calm down. They leave, I put them back. They leave again, I put them back again. Even a 2 year old knows not to leave within a couple tries.
And tantrums generally do not happen for children who are used to being immediately put into the corner. In the rare case that a child throws a tantrum in a store, you walk out with the child and immediately place him in a corner outside the store while you wait and read a magazine or something.
Putting a child in a corner isn't about a parent's convinience, because it's very inconvinient. Most parents just want to swat their child when they're in the store because they think they're so busy and will not take the time to go outside. However, if you do it consistently, it works.
you babysit, so your opinion on how a PARENT ought to punish is somehow more valid?
You do know that, at the end of the day, you don't keep the kids... you get them for a few hours and the parents get them the rest of hte time.... babysitting doesn't prepare you for parenthood any more than watching a race on tv makes you fit to be a nascar driver.
weekend. I know for a fact none of these kids are spanked and each and everyone is well behaved. Simply because it is expected of them.
You've obviously never had a precocious child such as myself.
I once kicked a hole in the wall when my parents used that method.
They still make fun of me for it.
If your kid kicked a hole in the wall, repair the wall, then place the kid in a corner with a stone foundation for much longer while you finish watching TV. Not really something to get excited about.
LOL
I helped my dad fix the wall. We didn't have any stone places. I never did it again.
That sounds like the time I colored on the bathroom floor. My mom made me clean it up myself. You can bet I never did that again, since it was a pain in the ass to get that stuff up.
-- quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
I have not met a handful of parents that want their children to act this way. Usually, when a child acts up( in the cases I've seen) it's because the parents are bad at dicipline and are not very good role modles to begin with. I hate the word dicipline, we need to come up with a new one just for child punishment.
My oldest nephew (not the two that live with me, but my older sisters boy) is in dire need of discipline. She lets him hit, kick, scream, throw tantrums, backtalk and get away with whatever he feels like doing. I literally cringe at the thought of spending time with him because he is so wild. And she has some "how dare you tell my child no" attitude when we get on to him for anything. I've taken to avoiding them because I can't tolerate it. He gives me stress headaches after 10 minutes.
Parents either need to keep their children in line or not be granted the right to have children. How anyone can find that behavior in a child acceptable is beyond me. Everyone screams child abuse when one spanks a child... but what the hell? I have a right to not be abused either and when that child is kicking and throwing things, it's time for a good old fashioned spanking.
My youngest nephew has never had a spanking that I can recall. He's too little (in size; he's 26 pounds, 29 inches long and will be 3 in May) and is behind developmentally. He has an unholy terror of hospitals and doctors (who can blame him?) and he lets you know it when they get near. He comes up swinging and will latch on to whatever body part he can with his teeth. If he can be taught to behave and not attack the doctors like some rabid dog (and that is, bless his heart, what he reminds me of when he has one of those fits and goes after the doctors with his teeth and nails bared), there is absolutely no acceptable excuse for an out of control older child. And he is learning. Most days, all it takes to snap him out of one of those fits is direct eye contact and placing his hands above his head for a few seconds. If he can do it, so can a five year old. There is no acceptable excuse for an out of control child. If you don't like spanking, find some other method. But not disciplining is not an option.
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"In the Land of Memory, the time is always Now.
In the Kingdom of Ago, the clocks tick... but their hands never move.
There is an Unfound Door
(O Lost)
and memory is the key which opens it." -King
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my niece's 2 and a half year old punched me in the face one day, being a brat (on purpose, not accidently in play). So I slapped his hand. When his mother asked what happened, I told her. She grabbed him and swatted his butt a few times then made him stand in the corner. He was trying to cry his way out of it but she stuck to it.
When she let him out, she made him apologize to me. Which he did as well as a 2 and a half year old can.
He is a decent kid, because when he does wrong, he is punished.
The difference with Aloshua is that mentally, he tests out as a 10-11 month old. Aside from those rare instances when he says Hi, Mama or Bye, he doesn't talk. He jabbers like a baby still getting a feel for the whole speaking concept. He doesn't walk, is just learning to sit up, and is still having problems with the whole crawling concept (though I think that's because every time he lifts an arm or a leg to move forward his head throws him off balance). So, we have to approach him creatively. He knows what no means, but that really doesn't mean much to him when faced with a doctor. I can, in a way, understand his terror. Since the time he was little, men in coats that touched him wanted to poke him, prod him, cut him open, or otherwise torture him. He's learning, but he has a whole different set of obstacles to overcome than most toddlers so we have to approach discipline differently with him; the same as we do eating, peeing, breathing, etc. If he can learn even with those obstacles, a healthy child can too.
As you pointed out, a 'normal' two and a half year old has a basic concept of right and wrong. Not disciplining creates more problems than it solves. Sure, the kid isn't spanked, but is a swat on the butt really that catastrophic? More than likely, ten minutes after it's said and done you will once again be the hero and will have been forgiven.
And by you I don't mean you specifically, I'm doing the whole generalizing thing again. One day, I will break that habit...
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"In the Land of Memory, the time is always Now.
In the Kingdom of Ago, the clocks tick... but their hands never move.
There is an Unfound Door
(O Lost)
and memory is the key which opens it." -King
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Yeah, when you're dealing with developmental issues of that kind, you have to punish for the mental ability, not the physical age.
I know that you're not a Christian, but God Bless You for the patience you have to be a good help with Aloshua. Not everyone can have the heart to help as you do.
Thank you. I love being such a big part of his life. He is a phenomenal little guy and totally deserves to be spoiled rotten. I get as much if not more from our relationship as he does. It's hard to lose sight of the important things and get caught up in the little things that don't change anything when you spend your days rolling in the floor with a child who has come so close to not making it as often as he did the first year and a half. Everyone should have an Aloshua in their lives.
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"In the Land of Memory, the time is always Now.
In the Kingdom of Ago, the clocks tick... but their hands never move.
There is an Unfound Door
(O Lost)
and memory is the key which opens it." -King
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I <3 you for having such a big <3.
He's lucky to have a Fallon in his life.
This issue actually gets brought up in my house quite often. I was not raised with a strong system of discipline. My mother never spanked me, I've been grounded about two times in my life, and I rarely hear the word "no" when I ask for things. Even just recently after asking my mom if I could get my tongue pierced (she said no) I went to Canada instead and did it (I'm not 18 yet). I only got a "I'm disapointed but it could've been worse." This makes me think "wow I can pretty much do anything cause there are no consequences."
I'm not a disrespectful person and I'm not completely out of control. I did learn to respect adults and others. Most kids treat their parents differently than they treat other adults. For one, I absolutely hate a child that is bratty and disrespectful. It is possible to teach your children how to be respectful without spaking them but I also agree that it is very effective.
Also, there is nothing more annoying than a parent who supports their child's brattiness. The parents who believe their child can do no wrong.
There is a difference between spanking and beating your child. Spanking doesn't leave bruises or lead to hospital visits. But spanking, taking away certain privileges, and sometimes a "stern" talking to are good ways to punish your children.
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"Is it true, said Candide, that people in Paris are always laughing?"
-Voltaire
You sound very disrespectful to your mother. You didn't respect her wishes, and then you come on here and complain about other people who do the same? Not only that, but you tell us how free you felt and that you'd not think twice about doing it again. Come on. That's hypocritical, and really sad.
Going against my mother's wishes once does not make me extremely disrespectful. There are teenagers who are completely out of control, don't go to school, and have no structure in their life because they had no discipline. Those are the kids that I am talking about. Not the teenagers who once in a while do things that they shouldn't. I have a job, I go to school, I get good grades, I'm going to college.
I don't think that going against your parents wishes a few times in life makes you disrespectful. I think it makes you a normal person. I know how to push my mom's buttons but I don't make a habbit out of taking advantage of my freedom. I do think about the consequences of my actions before I do them. I did that before I got my tongue pierced.
When children don't worry about the consequences of their actions, that's when you have a problem. I was completely willing to respect the punishment my mother was going to give me.
Plus, I was never a bratty kid. So I have the right to say that I don't like bratty kids.
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"Is it true, said Candide, that people in Paris are always laughing?"
-Voltaire
You have a glib attitude.
That's damn disrespectful.
How is that?
Is it because one of my actions immediately turns me into a disrespectful, impulsive teenager that is out of control?
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"Is it true, said Candide, that people in Paris are always laughing?"
-Voltaire
Because you continue to argue and think you are cool.
And you obviously do not see the harm in your attitude.
There is a difference between agruing and defending yourself when somebody has accused you of being something you are not.
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"Is it true, said Candide, that people in Paris are always laughing?"
-Voltaire
I'm with you. Dont let that pink unicorn get to you, I'm convinced she's part of my imagination anyway. I, too, was not punished more than four or five times throughout my childhood and really learned to respect people due to my brother anyway. I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, that you were trying to show a negative aspect to not growing up with punishment using the paroble of the tounge ring.
Then, after you found that your parents didn't punish you for it you were doing mostly the right things because they were the right things to do, not because of some trial and error punishment tecnique. I dont know if this is right but I think it is the source of the argument you and the unicorn(sorry I forgot her name) are having and I find that this may clear up the issue.
Another attempt at clearing up confusion executed by the butt-in guy.
Whether or not you are disrespectful, your story is a prime example of the child's view when a parent doesn't follow through with their rules. Like you said, you felt like you could do just about anything and not get in trouble. Imagine if it was like that all the time while you were growing up.
That, of course, is what leads to the disrespectful kids.
-- quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
I love my kids with all of my heart and anyone claiming I have abused them in any way is just full of it. It's not like you have to spank them daily. If you do it when they are young, you don't have to continue doing it. All I have to do now is start counting... 1... 2... they'd never let me get to 3.
Exactly - it doesn't even have to be a spanking ... it could be time out for all I care, just anything! The counting thing is one of my favorites with my sisters & the 3 only lead to a phone call to my father - no spanking, just punishment.
I agree with this post! Thank you for this! I am not a parent yet, and I understand that there are different circumstances, but when a child starts screaming in a restaurant (I'm a server) and the parents just ignore them, I wish I were a manager! I would ask them to remove the child momentarily until they calmed down. I don't get it. I do love this post. Good job!
Definately - I understand some parents use the "just let them cry, they will eventually get over it & stop" attempt but that sucks [for lack of a better word] for the rest of the people in the vacinity. Is it that hard to take your child outside or even to the restroom so they can calm down without ruining everyone elses night?
I can't stand that method either unless they are out of hearing distance. If I am in a restaraunt and my children started that I would get real close to their ear and barely pinch a little fat meat under their arm and tell them they better stop or they aren't going to like what comes next. The funny thing is that I only had to show them what comes next once and they realized they didn't like that at all. My children didn't really do the bad fits though like kicking and screaming. They might start crying in a store because they couldn't get what they want, but what child don't cry when they don't get what they want. If you start early though trust me it won't be an issue later. I have three children and my daughter is a drama queen but she is 7. She starts to cry and all I have to do is give her a look and she dries up so quick. Her friend came over one day and went to the store with us and they started getting loud in the store and all I said was Brittany and then she told her friend to stop. She said when my mom says stop you better and if you see her make this face ( she made my mad face ) you better stop for real because she is mad and you don't want to see her mad. I couldn't help from laughing after that though she was so serious.
Actually, in Thailand...parents are supposed to spank their kids. It is something that most parents in Asia do all the time. The relationship between the parents and the children over there and over here is different. Like, I've seen kids over here say "Don't touch me" to their parents before and I thought that was very disrespectful. If you've done something wrong, of course, the parents going to punish you for it. There is this Thai saying that "if you love your wife, tie her. If you love your children, hit them." As you can tell, this phrase is what most men back in the days told each other. It was more of a sexist statement than a guide how to brought up your children right.
Anyway, my point is that the punishment varies from culture to culture. People in America might view spanking as an abuse. But for others, spanking might be the most effective way to bring up a child.
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We were just discussed this in my government class today.
I think it's interesting that teachers have become public parents for children. It's now expected that teachers teach children right from wrong, they prepare them for college and the real world, they discipline them etc. What's even more frustrating about it is that when the teachers get in trouble for not doing these things well enough, the blame doesn't fall on the parent. It falls on the teacher.
-Teh IssyMonsterr
That's very true. People expect everyone else to raise their children for them.
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this is war. every line is about who i don't wanna write about anymore. [Brand New]
http://progressiveu.org/143541-how-to-survive-the-2008-elections
That's what happens when people are no longer expected to be responsible for themselves.... they start to not be responsible at all.
Then the government jumps in to take up that slack.... and as we're starting to see, the rights that go with that responsibility (like giving birth control to 12 and 13 year old girls without informing the parents, etc.)
I've always wanted to be a teacher so I can be a positive role model...
But now I'm scared because I feel like they'll all be looking to me to learn everything they should have learned their whole lives. :X
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this is war. every line is about who i don't wanna write about anymore. [Brand New]
http://progressiveu.org/143541-how-to-survive-the-2008-elections
You would be a great teacher.
You are honest, kind, and responsible. Those are some of the greatest traits you can teach a child, just by being a good role model.
: )
http://www.progressiveu.org/090204-dont-miss-this-chance
I just can't stand it when kids are acting out in a restaurant or some other nice place and the parents gave up and don't care about it. They are creating another burden on society!
DISCLAIMER: I am not being rude. I'm stating my opinion. No personal attacks are meant. Please give some leniency on how you take my words. imagine me saying them with a smile. ^__^
I agree 100%. My parents punished me when I deserved, with a punishment fitting whatever I did wrong, and I learned my lesson and behaved afterwards. I was very rarely spanked, and as a result when they had to spank me I knew it was SERIOUS and that I had darned well never do whatever I had done again.
I hate seeing kids who misbehave and their parents just let them; most generations before this one were punished/spanked, and they all turned out just fine - why are people so afraid to spank their kids now? It works!
When I was a waitress at a family friendly restaurant, I was able to see both sides of the spectrum.
You have the kids whose parents let them do anything. They would kick me, shove me, knock stuff to the ground, scream, and rip things out of my hands. The parents just stood back and were smiling as if they thought it was cute.
Then you have the parents that don't understand how to properly punish. I've seen a mother buy her 3 year old daughter one of the messiest desserts we have, without putting any bib or napkins on her. When the daughter inevitably spilled it down the front of her, the mother flipped out. Started screaming, yanking the girl out of the booth, and basically emotionally abusing her with insults.
So really its all a matter of balance. I completely agree with you that spanking should not be abolished. However, I can understand why some people would try and do so. Unfortunately people just cant seem to understand what is considered appropriate punishment : (
Thats a great point to bring up, I think this "overpunishment" or maybe even abuse stems from a deeper than normal worry that their children will act up. Oh, listen to me I sound like a psycologist.
I am a spiritual being on a physical journey. I truly feel my purpose in life is to serve others with compassion and understanding. I thrive in the midst of adversity and love assisting others less fortunate than myself, especially children. I feel the number one societal problem right now is the disciplinary actions we use towards our children. I feel that the collective social issues of society; lack of education, violence, gang activity, poverty, racism, discrimination, mental separateness from the next being,… etc, are all results of shadows we've developed during childhood. This is why it's so important to focus on social development and also personal, spiritual development during our younger years. The older we become, the more shadows we build and use to entrap our minds. Focusing on childhood behavior and understanding the actions of youth will allow adults to respond more positively and assist with co-creating a new state of social conscious.
We here the expression a lot, "Children are like sponges". However, I beg to differ. With a sponge, the absorbed content can be squeezed out. Removed from the object. With a child, you can't simply squeeze out information they already processed. Even if subconsciously, it will always remain in the root of their thoughts. This is why I am so strongly against physically disciplining our children. It doesn't have to be a certain degree of violence or a particular amount of strength behind the force to classify physical discipline as "abuse" or "OK". It's all abuse. Mentally, a spanking is a negative result of a child's actions. Same thing with a punch, a whipping by a belt, or even a smack on the hands; it sends a message to the child, " I don't agree with you, and because of it you will be hit". I feel it's time parents slowed down and discovered the true essence of their children. Take time to learn about their own make-ups and how it carries through to their kid's character. Find out how the child's personality interacts with other varieties of personalities. This way, when a child does something we adults consider "bad" we can stop, analyze the situation, and realize it's simply the part of the child exploring their newfound universe. The actions of children will become less personal and more educational. Together, dedicated adults and exploring children can raise the collective consciousness of negative disciplining and reduce the ignorant actions of society.