Take That, Sun. And That!

Listenin' to Devo today and whatdya know. I got a gut feelin'. Mighta been more of a blister in the sun. We'll see if this idear catches fire like sawaboof's arm, which apparently stripes one's eye like a candy cane. Enough hammer and sickle-- here's the idea, which was honestly more influenced by Good Morning Sun, 20 Years From Now, Maybe We'll Both Sit Down and Have a Few Beers... than Devo's magic.

Our local, state and federal governments are designed to establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, and promote the general welfare, right? So why, when outrunning/driving the sun doesn't seem to be working effectively, can't we say collectively, 'we're going to invest in melanoma prevention'?

I discussed my proposition with one bright young lass today. Needless to say, it got killed dead. But damnit, if I were a candidate searching to established an uber-wedge issue this political season, I'd propose the following:

When I was on the campaign trail this spring in Fort Myers, Florida I met a young woman who works the night shift after a full day of college and still can't afford treatment for a sister who's got more sun spots than heck. If I am elected to the White House, I'll guarantee it stays tan or at least not sunburned. Because in America, when I see 50,000 young adults discovering new moles and funny looking spots of Melano each year, I say to myself, what would Franklin Delano Roosevelt do? Would I trot past this hypothetical turtle lying on its shell? No. And that's why I'm proposing a sunscreen dispenser on every corner in America. Think of the relief work that would spur from the installation of such a mighty infrastructure. Oh. I can almost here the squirting now. Lets take the sunscreen to the streets.

Now that's a candidate I could worship. I'm on the lookout. He'd have to be some sort of skin doc or really groovy Banana Boat lobbyist.

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