I'm in a relationship. One that I thought was wonderful and everything I could have ever wished for in a relationship. The boy that I'm dating was in a year long relationship before me. He was with this girl who was a foreign exchange student from Germany, and he had gone to visit her over the summer. He had dreamed of moving there to live with her after graduation cause he thought he loved her. She cheated on him multiple times and took advantage of him.
He's always made that relationship out to sound like something awful. Like it was a huge mistake that he wish he hadn't ever made.
She came back for graduation on Thursday. They've spent more time together than I have with him over the same amount of time. I don't know what to think.
I talked to him about their relationship last night, and he told me that he was to blame for the problems that they experienced. He told me that she means nothing to him. And yet... He spends more time with her.
I don't know. I may be overreacting, but I'm truly freaked out. I don't know what to do. This boy means the world to me and I know that this relationship will end. We both entered this relationship knowing that once I go off to college, we're through. We're going to break up before I leave.
I don't know what to do. Last night when I was talking to him, I told him that he can't say no to his ex. I told him that that worries me. He wasn't able to confront her or say no to her during the relationship and he still can't say no to her a year later after she treated him horribly.
When I saw him today, he didn't say a single thing to me and he didn't acknowledge me. I know he saw me, but there was no communication from either of us. I know that was partially my fault but I didn't know what to say and now I regret not saying hi. I should have seen him, walked over and given him a kiss and a hug. But I was dumb and pretended I didn't care and i didn't talk to him.
I'm freaked out that something is going to happen to my relationship, and i'm afraid something may have happened already and I'm SCARED to death that something will happen between him and his ex-girlfriend.
This has not been a good week.
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Well, if you already know it will end, why worry? You said:
"We both entered this relationship knowing that once I go off to college, we're through. We're going to break up before I leave."
So it's like a temporary relationship. Why pour your heart in soul into it. He is not ready to move on. It looks like he wants her back. You should not suffer while he makes up your mind. Maybe take a guy break. Get a hobby, go out with friends.
I had the same thing happen except interchange the genders. I knew that it wouldn't last past high school but I was naive about it and didn't end it. So instead of a mutual understanding and a quicker, less-painful breakup, it turned into a long, very painful breakup. Plus she had cheated on me, going back and forth with her old b/f, on and off the whole time. But I didn't break it off, and needless to say, it was a bad few months.
What I learned from that whole relationship was that actions speak much louder than words. If he is spending more time with her than you, that says something.
The best thing to do is to talk to him about what you're feeling, and ask him how he feels about his ex, the future, etc.
But if you are sure that it is a relationship that won't last when you go to college, then you should probably break it off. Then hang out with some friends, learn to play piano, read a book, blog for progress, etc.
If you are already breaking up anyway then it doesnt really matter.